So, the child is asleep and again the house has returned to calm, quiet, save for the grumbly drying machine and the snoring kid…and the vagrants outside clanking bottles around in their bags. All is almost quiet. Like any good housewife I will begin to pack lunches for tomorrow, clean and wisp away all of todays grime from the house. OR get wasted and draw all over the walls, perhaps take a ride with a stranger to a strange house, board a plane and get married in Las Vegas to some woman from some cow poke town who calls herself Mary Lou and sucks down Marlboros like she were nursing from the teat of life. Well, thats always a possibility too.
Like any new blog I am totally enthusiastic about posting. Everyone, well almost everyone starts off strong so I figured why not. Post TWO in the same day? I have a lot to blab about, why not!
So about the title, my username, anarchtitude, was stolen from an alter. I don’t care if it pisses them off, but I like it so i’m using it.
My alters, are “my people”, they are multiple me, but I find im in a small crowd of DiD people who have this thing called DENIAL. UTTER DENIAL. Hatred of their “systems” hatred of the thought of being in this group, and hatred of this thing called dissociative identity disorder. Maybe its the stigma? Maybe its the fact that it’s sorta like religion in the mental health field, as in your either a “believer” or a “non-believer”, i’ve learned. Whatever it may be I pray every morning im someone else. “PLEASE anyone but me” I say. And in a way I guess I am.
I never really bought in to the multiple personalities/DiD thing, until I was forced to by some ‘unforeseen circumstances’ which didn’t allow me to remain in the closet any longer. These friggen’ alters are ever-present in my life and have been for a while. But denial is the face I put on when I walk out the door. “oh no no I’m not like THOSE people”, “I’m not CRAZY like THOSE people”. Well now the gay senator that screws boys in public toilets by night and denies gays their rights by day is on the public block. This ‘crazy’ of mine has lingered for a long long time, Now its got a name, a label, itsa’ DID! and within that, one of those names is anarchtitude. and behind that hides my dear dear friend, Alice.